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Build Fences not Boundaries

Do you know how to create and live with healthy boundaries? Have you ever said “I have to get better at setting boundaries?” or “I can’t say no”?  Do you feel you are at the whim of everyone else’s needs, or resentful about how often you come last? 

Or maybe you’ve discovered that saying NO is not the problem at all, in fact, you want to learn to open up and say YES more often. You recognize that you hold yourself back from life by carefully monitoring risks, by remaining disconnected or aloof from others, by only taking on activities where you know you will succeed in order to avoid failure, and as a result you’re beginning to find yourself isolated, bored or living a rigid and less- than-fulfilling life.

In either of these cases, try fences rather than boundaries.  

When most people hear the word “boundaries,” they equate it with saying NO and establishing limits around what others are NOT allowed to...

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12 Ways to Ignite Your Confidence

Having self-confidence is beneficial in all areas of our lives, and developing confidence is an important part of personal and professional growth. We intuitively understand that lack of confidence can hold us back from achieving all we want and being who we want to be. The experience of fear, insecurity or nervousness can be debilitating if we don’t understand ways to build confidence. I hear so many people share the desire “I need more confidence” or the lament “I’m not a confident person.”

Let’s talk about this.

A common misunderstanding I see when working with people who want to become more confident is the false belief that having confidence means NOT experiencing nervousness, insecurity or fear. While it’s true that someone with high confidence may experience less nervousness or insecurity, it’s a false belief that to be more confident you must first rid yourself of nervousness, insecurity and fear. Also inaccurate is the...

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Replace โ€œfake it 'til you make it,โ€ with โ€œfire it 'til you wire it.โ€

In a recent conversation with a friend about facing difficult work situations, she used the ubiquitous saying "fake it 'til you make it."

Listen up y'all...

it’s time for this saying to be officially and permanently retired! 

When we lovingly advise each other or ourselves to “fake it 'til you make it” we are, inadvertently, reinforcing a negative internal dialog that undercuts our progress. Although intended to send the positive, uplifting message of “just take action until you gain confidence and competence,” this phrase includes a subtle, not-very-empowering message that needs examination.  I understand telling ourselves to “fake it” allows us to move forward when we may not yet believe in ourselves, but language is powerful, so let’s use language that describes what’s actually happening.

To better express the dynamic that occurs when we take an action, change our nonverbal pose, smile even if we don’t feel...

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6 Reasons Resilience is Critical for Leadership

leadership resilience Jul 23, 2020

Leaders face many challenges supporting, guiding, and inspiring teams.

They are called on to build a broad and versatile set of skills to create change, motivate action, and mediate conflict - among many other expectations. Extraordinary leadership requires adaptability and responsiveness to a host of ongoing demands; now more than ever leaders must understand how to develop individual and team resilience if they want long-term success.

Resilience is not only the ability to bounce back after difficulty and endure through tough times, but it is also the ability to face a multitude of experiences with optimism, authenticity, and genuine care for others. True resilience helps you grow; it helps you Bounce Forward.

Resilient people are skilled in self-care, open to growth and transformation, and are grounded in the knowledge of their strengths and deepest personal values.

Building a Culture of Resilience in our personal lives and in our organizations is critical right now for the...

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